Trichotillomania - Fighting the Pull

10 Thoughts That Need to Stop! – Trichotillomania

Trichotillomania is a Trichy Disorder. The thoughts that go on in our own heads could actually be the most painful, and what’s causing us the most harm. Sure, the comments made by other people never really help much either, (You can read the Top 25 Things Someone with Trichotillomania is Sick Of Hearing in this… Continue reading 10 Thoughts That Need to Stop! – Trichotillomania


Living With a Back Injury

Every day I wake up, I am normally fine. But other days, my back injury flares up. Yes it hurts, and yes I try to just deal with the pain.

There are days where it just hurts like a small pain that most people get on a daily basis. Other days, it feels like I could just fall to the ground and cry.

I have had my back injury for almost 5 years. And sad to say, I feel like I received it in the dumbest way possible.

I was working at Mohegan Sun Casino at the age of 19. The position I was in at that time was an EVS Attendant, or Environmental Services. A better word for it is a janitor in my opinion and they just made it seem fancier than it was.

I did the normal cleaning of the sections by the slot machines, cleaned bathrooms, and even cleaned up some of the restaurants and bars that the casino owned themselves.

The day I had received my back injury was pretty much like any other day to me, I just had an extra job for the night.

Racing season had just started and they had just opened up Pacer’s Clubhouse, which over looked the horse race track. This was my first time actually having to clean Pacer’s to the extent they wanted.

I started my night by helping others in their sections while I waited to start Pearl, a sushi bar which actually also has great teriyaki and hibachi food. When I clean Pearl, I had to move the heavy marble tables and the chairs so that I could vacuum the carpets. Then I would proceed to move the chairs from the bar and sweep and then mop the floor, which was just a small section.

After Pearl was cleaned up, I would proceed to help others in their sections again before Breakers, Mohegan Suns’ featured bar, closed. When Breakers closed, it was just a matter of moving their tables and chairs to sweep and mop the floors.

Then I skipped the last part of my nightly routine to go and clean up Pacer’s Clubhouse and the rest of Simulcast.

Normally, cleaning Pacer’s during the off-season only included taking out all the trash and doing a quick broom sweep on the carpets and then finishing the rest of Simulcast. But with Pacer’s actually being an active restaurant, I had to also vacuum all of the floor. Now, this wasn’t a normal straight floor either. Each row was pretty much like sitting on a large step, which continued to descend to the bottom of the window. I can’t really say how many rows there were, only because it has been about 5 years since I have really stepped foot in that part of the casino, but it sure was not something to take lightly for a section.

By the time I was even halfway done with Pacer’s, I only had about an hour and a half left to my shift. So like the responsible person that I am, I had called it into my boss how much I had done and that I was going to continue with the rest of Simulcast before the shift ended for the night.

So I did what I normally would do. I just cleaned everything up and took out the garbage. Only thing is, I felt a tightening in my back as I was taking the garbage from inside to the dumpster. This is where things changed for me, and not for the best.

I continued through the rest of my shift ignoring my back. But once it was time to head back and put my stuff away, thats when the feeling returned, but way worse. I proceeded to clock out and walked to the employee entrance to wait for my ride, even with all the pain I was feeling. What I didn’t expect was that the attendant there at the desk, whom I had become friends with over the months I had been employeed, was watching me as I proceed to lean against her desk, tears rolling down my face. After that it was filling in an incedent report and being told to take the night off from work and come back the next day, but if I wanted to see either their doctor or chiropractor it was ok.

But here was the catch. I could only see one. So either I had to go to the doctor for the pain but not get my back fixed, or I get my back fixed but have to deal with the day to day pain.

So I sucked it up and when to the chiropractor that I was given the name and number for, and proceeded to get his opinion on my back the same day I was returning to work. Well, push came to shove and he told me he wanted me to get workers’ comp for my back. Now, I am not a very trusting person. I wouldn’t trust the casino not to mess up on purpose during that time. So I told their chiropractor that I would prefer to be on light duty, this way I could ensure I was making the money I currently had without having to worry about anything…… or so I thought.

That same night I went back to work to be told, even with a light duty notice to my boss from the chiropractor, I was on the food court that night. The only help I was to recieve from others was someone else taking the trash for me and someone was going to put the chairs on the tables so that I could vacuum.

Everything started out fine, even with me moving around as little as possible not to jousle my back, by 5:00 I was vacuuming the floors. And low and behold, not even 10 minutes vacuuming, I was on the ground in pain crying my eyes out. Well, that made the second incedent at work in 3 days, so more paperwork for me!

To cut the tale short, I had to see the chiropractor once a week, the physical therapist 2 times a week, and their massage therapist 2 times a week in order for the chiropractor to even be able to work on my back at all.

3 months and a few call offs later, I was out of a job. Even though I had called off because of my back injury itself, the points still counted against me no matter what. After 3 months, they said I was back on normal duty, and what happened but after only 2 days of normal duty, I was in so much pain and I was so exhausted that I had slept through half of my shift. No matter what I would have done, my job was officially out the window.

As sad as it is to say, I always tell my friends to never work for the casino here. They treat their employees like trash. And that was from experience.

Now, 5 years down the road, I am back at my first job, which I had left for the casino. Even though its a minimum wage job, my back still acts up at times, and even flares up to the point I want to fall to the floor in pain because I just moved the wrong way while working!

So yes, I deal with this pain daily, even to the point where I couldn’t sleep on my bed without crying. Just a week ago my back flared up at work, but I pushed through and dealt with it since there is really nothing I can do about it anymore. This is just something I have to deal with because it is too much money for the chiropractor and I do not have insurance.

But things always look up! Maybe one day I won’t have to deal with this pain anymore. But until that day, I will continue to push through and hold my chin high.

‘Til Next Time!



April Birchbox-Subscription box

April 2016 Birchbox

As always, I was over excited when my April Birchbox arrived. What I wasn’t expecting was to completely ❤ love ❤ this month’s box! This monthly subscription box never disappoints me, but this one was on point. They even sent me a bonus this month giving me 6 items instead of 5! This month I waited to post this until after I had tried all the products so I’m able to give you guys my reviews on them as well! So let’s get started!

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Birchbox is a monthly subscription box service that sends out 5 monthly beauty samples for only $10 per month, and each box contains products valued more than that! If you haven’t already checked them out or subscribed, you can GO HERE to see what they’re all about.

Q-What do you like so much about Birchbox?
A-For starters, we love the price. Also that you get to customize the products you will be receiving that month by using sample choice. These products are all tailored to your profile and what you like, so how you fill out your info, is how they decide what products to put in your monthly box. We also love that they have a very rewarding point system setup that allows you to earn points by referring friends, and reviewing the products you get in your box. You receive at least 50 points each month just for doing the reviews, and that equals $5 in the birchbox shop. These are easily saved up for rewards, or products of your choice in the Shop!
Q-Does Birchbox do promotions, or have money off your first box?
A-Yes! They often do promotions for new subscribers, as well as sending out special products and bonuses to their current members! You can check out the latest promotions HERE.

❤ The First product I got (from left to right) is the Marcelle 3 in 1 Micellar Solution. It’s a toner and makeup remover that’s gentle for sensitive skin, but still strong enough to take off all makeup.  The full size costs $21, and can be found HERE. I have already replaced my everyday makeup remover with this product, it doesn’t dry my face out, and even removes some of the hardest waterproof and liquid liners. I’m not sure about mascara, as my eyelashes are still growing back from my last trich mishap.
Sample value estimate- $2.10

❤ Briogeo-Don’t despair, Repair! Deep Conditioning Mask. This is a hair mask that is ultra-hydrating and conditioning hair mask that also strengthens your hair at the same time. This smells amazing, and definitely does what it’s made to do. My hair felt like silk after I used this just one time, and the sample size i received has about 2 uses in it for the length of my hair. If your hair is shorter you would get more out of it, but mine is very long still even after my recent cut so it doesn’t last as long for me. The Full Sized product price is $26 (can be found here) so that puts this sample value at $3.25.
❤ Malin + Goetz Grapefruit Face Cleanser– This facial cleanser is made to balance the skins natural ph levels, cleanse the face and even clear up breakouts. While I don’t ever get breakouts, I do love that it cleanse your face well with a nice scent and feel as your using it. I have noticed that my face looks more refreshed after application, and feels softer for a longer amount of time after using it. I would recommend this to anyone with sensitive skin or breakouts, or anyone who loves great smelling cleansers. This product costs $32 for Full sized-HERE– Putting a value of $4 on my sample!

❤ Bonus Product! Malin + Goetz Facial Moisturizer-This one was my Bonus product this month, and the first bonus I received this year in my Birchbox. While was happy getting a moisturizer in my box this month, I do wish this sample was bigger, instead of in a foil packet. I love moisturizers and use them multiple times a day for my extremely dry skin. So this product for me was a one-day use. It did a good job hydrating my skin, wasn’t oily, and seemed to stay moisturized for a few hours, but a bigger size would have helped me review this a bit more to decide if I would want to buy it again. This is the lowest valued sample of this box, coming in at a $1.15 sample value. The full sized can be found HERE and costs $46 for a 4oz product.

Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics Lip Tar in Strumpet– This sample is actually over half the size of a full sized product, and after using it a few times I’ve realized that this one will last a long time. You only need the smallest little drop of this product because it goes a LONG WAY. I’m no over-exaggerating either. That one little drop will stain your finger (if that’s what you use to apply with-I tried it that way first-and will still cover your entire lips with a cute red color.) I can see this product lasting a long time because of this and I’m fine with that! The full size is $16 HERE– and gives this sample value $8!
Wei Beauty free ship $65
Wei Golden Root Purifying Mud Mask– This sample was one I was most excited about! I have been wanting to try these masks for awhile now, but haven’t felt up to forking over the cash for something I wasn’t sure I’d like. This was the first Mud mask I have ever tried, and I’m hooked. I loved the feeling of this, and how far the product actually goes. The small container the mask comes in is actually a full sized capsule. When you buy the full sized product priced at $42, you get 8 of them instead of just 1, and one of these will give you two uses! (that’s how many I got from it, I do think you are supposed to apply the whole thing, but i wanted to get more than one use from it…it also doesn’t take much to go a long way and feel the same result.) You also get a nice little application brush with the full sized purchase as well.
This product left my face super soft, and glowing. It felt nice on the skin, even though I looked like I had just fallen into a huge puddle face first 🙂 If you haven’t tried a mud mask before, this one will make you a believer and may even hook you like it did me after just one use. You can find this product HERE. This sample size came in with a value of $5.25

Total box value-$23.75
Thanks to my bonus product this month I also got 60 points($6) to spend in the Birchbox Shop after I reviewed them, so it’s almost like getting the box for $4 this month!

Do you have a Birchbox subscription? We’d love to hear from you! If you review yours as well, or do unboxing’s, comment bellow so we can check out what you got! Have Questions for us, or suggestions on new Subscription Boxes? Ask away and let us know, or connect with us on Social Media. We’re always happy to connect with new people and bloggers. Have a great weekend everyone!





General Reviews · Lifestyle/Family

Why I Switched From DVD to Digital

I have to say that this is one of the best ideas for movies. The prices are cheaper, if you have the digital code already you can use it on your account, you can connect multiple accounts to share movies with others, and there are so many selections! My library grew within the 3 months… Continue reading Why I Switched From DVD to Digital

Beauty · Giveaway · Lifestyle/Family


*****Closed-This Giveaway has now Ended*****

snappa_1460845484At this Time, I’m extremely happy to announce our very First Giveaway!

Our blog has done better in the last 3 weeks than We thought possible. And because of this, we decided to do our first giveaway already! We will be Giving away 2 Gift Cards-One to Sterling Forever & one for 31BITS-There will Be 2 Winners, and you can enter for both, Some tasks are even Daily! So theres plenty of ways to increase your chances of winning and gain more than one entry! (We are not an affiliate to either of these companies, but we do believe in their products and that’s why we’re giving you the chance to win some amazing jewelry.)

Ways to Enter – Click Here to claim your entries for the day.
-Follow on Twitter = 3
-ReTweet = 3
-Visit, and like our Facebook Page = 2
-Comment on your favorite post = 3
For a Total of 11 Entries! 

$25 Gift Card to 31Bits-Check them out HERE
$30 Gift Card to Sterling Forever-Click HERE to see what you could get!

This Giveaway will end on Friday April 22, Two winners will be chosen at 12 p.m. and will be contacted at that time. We will contact you by email, twitter, or facebook until we receive a response. In the Event of the winner not claiming their prize, we will draw again until we have one. If you know someone you think would be interested, let them know to enter as well. Good luck Everyone!

Kylie & Kit



Valentia Eternal Youth Exfoliating Scrub

Valentia exfoliating scrub
Valencia eternal youth exfoliating scrub product review

Honestly, this is the best facial scrub I’ve ever tried. When you have very dry, sensitive skin, you become very selective in the products you will use or try. I was lucky enough to find the perfect exfoliating scrub for just that and more!

*I received this product free in return for my honest opinion and review.***
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I was excited opening this when it arrived, I love exfoliating products because I have very dry skin and I need something that can help remove that layer, while having other benefits as well. The packaging of the product is very nice, and I received it with no damage at all. When I first ordered it I was a bit skeptical because with my dry skin and eczema, I have a very sensitive face and some products I’ve used like this before have dried my skin out so bad that the skin actually cracked before I got lotion on it. And no I’m not over-exaggerating.


When using this scrub, you don’t need much at all. You also want to make sure you are using a small amount like it calls for, as well as applying it gently to make sure you’re not scratching your skin. I preferred applying the product after I had some water on my face already, instead of the dry face application. This helped it smoothly apply to the skin without the roughness. This jar will last a long time, even if you use it daily! It resembles a gel with small specs for exfoliation. The feeling it gave my skin afterwards was amazing, and I didn’t have the feeling of my face being dried out either. My skin was very soft to the touch, my face was refreshed and had natural shine as well.

This does have a slight scent to it that comes from the teas and other ingredients, but it’s not overwhelming at all, and didn’t bother my extremely sensitive skin either. This has quickly made its way into my everyday beauty routine now, and I’m so glad I got the opportunity to try this!

If you would like to try this product yourself, you can head on over Here to do so! I hope you like it as much as I have, and if you have any other questions, feel free to ask!


General Reviews · Video Games & Game Reviews

League of Legends

So one of my main games that I play is called League of Legends. In my own opinion, this is the best MOBA (Multi-Online Battle Arena) on PC. Not only is it a free to play game, but the graphics are AWESOME! At the bottom of this blog post is a link to the official League of Legends website.
I have been playing this game since the end of season 1, so this makes me excited to do a review.
Like a lot of games, it is level based. But here is the thing. You have your player level and then your in game level. Max level as a player is 30, but in game the max level is 18. Exp is what you need to level in game and out of game. Playing the different modes gives you experience for your player level. In game, the experience comes from killing minions, killing other players and assists (though you dont get much from it), and getting objectives such as towers and Dragon (which just recently was turned into a gryphon).
Each player starts off with the same amount of gold. How you spend it is up to you, though learning from others will help alot on what to build,  when to get items, and the reasons why. The build isn’t always helpful, so switching it up helps a lot too because a lot of the items are situational.
Getting gold is the same as experience,  though you also get gold automatically through time as well.
There are a total of 3 lanes on the 5v5 map, also known as Summoners Rift. The lanes are Top, Middle, and Bottom. Top is is normally a tanky and/or dps character. Middle is normally an AP carry. Bottom is your ADC (Attack Damage Carry) and Support. There is also a jungle where the jungler (obviously) will get their exp and gold from.
Each role pretty much has their jobs to do.
Jungle ganks other lanes, helps each lane get objectives, clears their jungle and counter jungles when they can, and watches lanes when asked.
Top lane tries to keep their opponent at a stand still if they can not bully them in lane. They sometimes help gank but mostly focus on getting their lane pushed and the lane towers down. Just keep farming so you can be awesome pretty much.
Mid lane kind of does the same as top,  though they are more likely to help the other two lanes since they are between them both.
Bot lane has your ADC and Support so they have two seperate roles. ADC farms and hits from a distance. They are your ranged damage for a reason. Dont get me wrong,  they dont just sit there and look pretty. They always stay as far back in a fight as possible to ensure that they dont die as fast. They are normally the ones who do the most damage. Support does exactly that. They support the team. They get items that support the team more than anything. Wards are the key to a good support. It is mostly their job to ward the map.
Map awareness is key to this game. If you dont know where people are on the map, its likely you are going to be ganged up on by who is missing. Wards help here. The jungler is only seen by the enemy when there are wards or when they are near minions or the enemy themselves, so ward up! You never know when the enemy jungler is going to gank.

There are so many champions to chose from! There are over 100 even! A new champion is released atleast every other month. So the options are limitless.

Even though this game is free to play,  there are some cons to it. For example, you need to spend money to get skins for the champions that you own. Its currently on season 6, therefore you will almost always play against players who have been around aleast the last few seasons. It takes time and practice to get decent at the game. Its faster to get champions with money,  or RP (Riot Points), than waiting on IP (Influence Points),  which you get from playing game modes. Playing draft mode requires a specific amount of champions between owned and free champs. Ranked requires level 30 as a player level and a specific amount of champs as well.
The pros are that making friends is not hard. Each week has a free champion rotation of 10 champions. Champions are bought with IP and RP. You can spectate your friends games. And best of all, you can now queue up and chose 2 lanes of your choice to ensure you get a role you prefer.

This game brought me so many friends and so many good times. If you have the chance,  check it out! If you enjoy it like I do, you can add me if you would like! Im on the American server as Airy9213.

Hope you guys enjoy!!!

Til next time!

League of Legends Official Site

Trichotillomania - Fighting the Pull

Fighting the Pull- Still growing

img1459323358457     My hopes with sharing my experiences with this is that the people who don’t have trich understand it, and what it does to its sufferer. Also to help the people who like me, battle this everyday so we don’t feel alone in this world, so we know that there is someone out there who is going through the same thing as you. Usually in a different way, but in general we all have close to the same emotions about trich, and how to fight back the urges to pull on a daily basis.
Do you know how long it takes hair to grow back? It actually differs for each person, but for anyone suffering from Trichotillomania, it takes even longer. Every time we pull out the hair We create damage that makes the hairs take longer to grow. The average growth rate for eyelashes is 1 to 6 months, but a person with Trich can expect to wait at least 4 months without the assistance of growth serum’s. And at that point, they’re probably still not grown in completely. If they are not patchy and missing in spots, they won’t be very long yet, and with how long It takes it’s likely those hairs are pulled before they had a chance. For me, they hardly even pop out of my eyelid before I’m pulling them out again.

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Eyebrows take around 60 days on average, so from the time they’re gone I’m drawing them on for at least 2 months in order to look normal. And the hair on your head, depends on the length but were looking at years for our heads to look normal. Sure we have many ways of hiding this because of the powers of makeup, but I’m sure I’m not the only trickster who would love the freedom of not HAVING to do It to feel normal everyday.

As a result of wanting to be rid of this for good, I have been doing a lot more research lately on Trich. Still looking for ways to overcome this once and for all. In my last post, I had discussed the struggles of living with this on a daily basis, and unless us trichsters find a way to completely best it, we will be living with it for life. This is something I’m still not ready to come to terms with. I have control over almost every aspect of my life…except trich. I am determined to overcome this for good no matter what it takes or how long.

I can do this. I am strong enough to overcome this. I can see the days in the future when I don’t have to prep my face to look normal walking out the door. When I can go to the store, and not worry that everyone is looking at my missing hair, brows and lashes. Comforting words written on my wall, stashed inside my brain and constantly repeated. Over, and over I fight back the tears as I look in the mirror. Feeling helpless and alone, even when I know I’m not…I’m not the only one who suffers from this condition.

But does anyone actually feel the same way as I do about it? Every story I read, every person I talk to who has this, has it in their own way. We all have different “side effects” of trich. I personally pull from the bottom of my head, my lashes, and my brows. I even pull my leg hairs at times to try and avoid the other hair. I don’t notice when I do it most times, and it’s almost always worse when my stress levels peak. I feel completely out of control with this condition and like there is nothing that will make it go away for me. For almost 20 years I’ve dealt with this, 20 years of being laughed at, picked on, treated like I was differnt, asked if I had a mental disorder, treated like I was stupid because I wouldn’t stop- and anyone who doesn’t have it doesn’t understand that you can’t.

They think I have no self control just because I can’t help, or notice when I’m pulling my hair. To them I say nothing. Because what can I say to them that would change their opinions? Nothing. That’s it, just a big fat nothing. They don’t have to deal with it, and sadly if they don’t have anyone in their life affected by it, then chances are they don’t care enough to even listen. This is a Disorder, not a Decision.

I want to have my eyelashes back for once, I’d love to not have bald spots under my head because that’s where I pull from so much. My hair is always cut in layers to try and hide the random hairs growing back at different lengths all over my head. It would be nice to not have to draw on my eyebrows completely every time I walk outside, and only have to fill them in in occasions when I Want to, not Have to.

My newest way of coping? Talking to others who have this, and I have still been reading some amazing books I’ve found by authors who have struggled the same as me. (I created a list at the bottom of this post with my favorite ones so far, as well as some of the other things I have been using that’s working for me.) The best part you ask? Not only does it help me not feel so distant from the rest of the world, but while I’m spending time reading their stories, I’m not pulling! The simple act of reading someone else’s journey is helping me Fight the Pull!

Unless I know I’m leaving the house I avoid all mirrors possible. I can’t even look myself in the face while I brush my teeth without it bothering me, or worse making me want to pull. But I would really love to have long lashes, and my own eyebrows more than I want to wear makeup for a day. I have been exercising a lot more lately, especially when i feel the urges to pull, so it’s helping keep me distracted and get into shape at the same time. I had recently read an amazing blog that said naming the hairs you have trouble with can be beneficial to some people also, and although I have no tried this I’m happy to know that it is working for someone. This I may just have to try, but the name I would give right now wouldn’t be pleasant, and I probably won’t be typing it out. Haha.

I also use the Tangle , it’s a toy made for stress relief and hand therapy. This is probably my favorite thing right now out of everything. My hands are CONSTANTLY busy with this, and it doesn’t give me a chance to move my hands towards the hair. I’m hoping that a combination of everything i’ve been trying is enough to finally stop pulling. Fighting the urges to pull can be to much to take at times though, and I cave. Fighting it can make you irritable, stressed, sad or depressed, and can even get worse the longer you fight it-unless you find a way to control and get rid of the urges completely for that moment. And if your a trichster, this means most times you end up with some missing hairs.

I have the tendency of pulling at my split ends for hours at a time if I’m left alone to do it. Occasionally resulting in me pulling the whole hair out, which explains why my hair constantly gets thinner and thinner as the years go by. Why do I keep doing this damage to myself even though I’d give anything to stop? Where is my self control so lacking that I can’t fight the one battle I’m dying to conquer?

I am not an expert, or any type of medical professional…these are my thoughts and feelings that I love with daily because of Trichotillomania. I’m sharing my story because it not only helps me cope with it, but I am also hoping that reading my journey will help others get theirs under control also. Maybe some methods you’re using would help me if I tried them, but we would have to share our experience that way. And maybe some of the things that are working for me would work for you also. If you would like to follow my journey, you can follow our blog in many ways.

If you would like to read any of the books that have helped me, you can for free on amazon with kindle unlimited. If you don’t have it already, you can try it free for 30 days (that’s what I’ve done, and I’m reading as much as I can before I have to start paying for it!) This gives you access to a lot of info on trich, and many other free books as well!

Until next time, keep Fighting the Pull!


Some things worth looking into


Trichotillomania - Fighting the Pull

Fighting the Pull

This isn’t going to be easy for me to write, and this post is going to be very personal for me. If you’re suffering from trichotillomania (Trich for short) like I am, then you’ll relate to this post and know exactly what I’m talking about. If you don’t have Trich, I hope by the end of this you at least understand what it is, and the types of struggles it causes for the people who have it.

When you have Trich, even leaving the house can be stressful. Did I draw my eyebrows on right? Will people stare at me and notice I have hair missing in spots? Should I wear false eyelashes to hide that I have none? These questions are what I ask myself every time I walk out the door, and I’m sure many others do as well. The worst part? False eyelashes don’t wear well if you have none of your own to hold them. Eyeliner goes on easy without lashes, but it doesn’t stay where you’d like it to half the time, and one touch to your face, even just to itch…could let the whole world see what’s under that makeup.

For those who don’t know what Trich is, it’s a disorder that causes recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out body hair. Although they say it’s treatable by a medical professional, I have never found anything that works to make it go away for more than a few weeks if that. The only “treatment” they tried to give me was counseling and medications for depression. I’m not depressed, or at least I wasn’t, I’m a SAHM of 3 little girls…I now work from home also because with the hubby schedule there’s no time for me to go out of the house for a job. So the added stress level has once again left me with a bald body.

Daycare is out of the question, I definitely cannot afford $350 a week in child care for 3 kids, and let’s be honest here that’s crazy and no one should ever be in this situation just because they have a family. How are we supposed to feel usefull when we’re made to sit at home doing nothing more than what women were stereotyped to do forever. I’m sorry I’m a career minded mother and not having an income or life is not an option for me. So trying to find a way to work from home has added yet another stress factor.

I was about 5 or 6 years old when I developed this condition, and up until 2 years ago, I had still thought I was the only person who suffered from it. Other than the amazing people I’ve now met in this time online, I have never known another person with trich.

I was treated like a freak by people who noticed missing hair, or that heard from someone else how weird it was and blah blah blah. But most times, we don’t even notice that We are pulling out our hair. The damage becomes clear after we’ve seen what We did. We all know how it goes, doesn’t matter what makes us different, someone else will always point out our flaws for the rest of the world. One of the worst things you can do to a person with Trich, at least in my opinion, is ask the same stupid questions we get daily. Like, why do you do it? Or why don’t you just stop? They don’t understand unless they have it.

Some have even taken it as far as smacking my hands while I pull at my eyelashes or hair. Always resulting in me fingering my eyeball or hitting my head, which gets infuriating after the first time. And when you show them frustration because of what they did, it doesn’t bother them a bit because they don’t know why you do it Or how to make you stop.


(I had eyebrows growing back, and had almost all my eyelashes grown. It doesn’t take long at all for that to change and be taken away without noticing it.)

Here’s some advice to someone who knows a person with trichotillomania, leave them be. Comfort them, tell them it’s ok, and don’t make them feel less human by treating them anything other than a normal person. Because that’s what we are. You don’t see us hitting your hands for something we can’t control. We’re not out telling people with depression or other disorders to stop because you can control it. You cant, and it’s something we have to all come to terms with. Not everything in life can be controlled. We all deal with different things in different ways. Let us try and live our lives as normal and as happy as we can.

Most people with this condition pull from their head, eyelashes and brows, and even leg hairs or any body hair available to pull. I’m guilty of all of it. I have bald spots on my head that will never be normal again. My eyelashes have been gone for years, my brows will never look normal without being filled in, and I have to prep myself every time I leave the house, even just to look like I have no makeup on, requires me to wear some.

As I said before, there’s certain types of makeup that just doesn’t work well for us trichsters. Mascara for anyone who pulls their eyelashes can be a nightmare. It takes months to grow eyelashes back, and mascara for most can bring the urge to pull them out back even worse. Having to take the makeup off at night can even make them fall out when your just trying to take it off. Even being gentle doesn’t always work. Over time our eyes gets used to it and they simply come out without an effort of pulling anymore.

I could be doing so good for 3 months, have my eyelashes almost completely grown in, and as soon as I end up pulling out one single hair, you can start to get the feeling and urge to “make it look normal” by evening out the other side. This of course makes it worse and usually by the end of it I have no hairs left to pull. Back to the starting point once again.

Excersize, cleaning, toys that keep your hands busy, and some other things can be used to try and keep yourself from pulling the hair. But this is only a temporary relief, and it never actually gets rid of the urges, more of less just takes your mind off of it for a little while if your lucky.  If you’re like me though, this can frustrate you even more because you’re trying to fight the urges, and they just don’t stop. 

Is there no way to rid the urges forever? Are we all really just “stuck” with this condition for life? After having it for almost 20 years, and 99% of my life already, I can’t help but to feel that this is just something we can’t beat. I’d love to be able to say something positive here and think it will get better forever. But I have learned the hard way that nothing lasts forever. This is life.

If you’re going through this with me, let me know. Tell me how you feel, and maybe even how you beat the urges. Sometimes it’s just nice to talk to someone else who’s going through the same thing you are, and I’d love to be that person. 🙂

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It has now been a total of 6 days since I pulled last, and some of my lashes have started growing back in again already. I have been using an eyelash growth serum lately because it not only helps cut the growth time in half, but it also makes me notice when I’m pulling a lot easier. It’s not that it hurts exactly, but you can definitely feel when your pulling out your eyelashes or brow hairs. I’ve been trying this for a few months and it does seem to work, but doesn’t stop me completely all the time. I had just had all my lashes and brows almost completely back.
They looked beautiful, but I had an overly stressful day and lost it all immediately. 😦
The serum that I have been using doesn’t hurt or irritate your eyes when you’re applying it, and it doesn’t after either, but like I mentioned it does help you realize you’re pulling a lot faster! I will continue to use this and other methods to try and beat this, but until then, if you have anything working for you I’m all ears!
This is the one that I use specifically, it’s not very expensive like some, and still gets the job done right. This one is clear and can even be worn under makeup, if left alone it will have a slight shine to it for about 10 minutes.

Until next time, keep Fighting the Pull!
—  —  — Kylie