Trichotillomania - Fighting the Pull

45 Comments People with Trichotillomania are Sick of Hearing

This post has been inspired by all the different comments that anyone who suffers from Trichotillomania is really just sick of hearing. Sometimes people don’t think about how something as simple as a silly comment in their opinion could actually be harming the person they’re saying it to. Trichotillomania is a hair pulling disorder that… Continue reading 45 Comments People with Trichotillomania are Sick of Hearing

Trichotillomania - Fighting the Pull

10 Thoughts That Need to Stop! – Trichotillomania

Trichotillomania is a Trichy Disorder. The thoughts that go on in our own heads could actually be the most painful, and what’s causing us the most harm. Sure, the comments made by other people never really help much either, (You can read the Top 25 Things Someone with Trichotillomania is Sick Of Hearing in this… Continue reading 10 Thoughts That Need to Stop! – Trichotillomania

Trichotillomania - Fighting the Pull

Fighting the Pull- Still growing

img1459323358457     My hopes with sharing my experiences with this is that the people who don’t have trich understand it, and what it does to its sufferer. Also to help the people who like me, battle this everyday so we don’t feel alone in this world, so we know that there is someone out there who is going through the same thing as you. Usually in a different way, but in general we all have close to the same emotions about trich, and how to fight back the urges to pull on a daily basis.
Do you know how long it takes hair to grow back? It actually differs for each person, but for anyone suffering from Trichotillomania, it takes even longer. Every time we pull out the hair We create damage that makes the hairs take longer to grow. The average growth rate for eyelashes is 1 to 6 months, but a person with Trich can expect to wait at least 4 months without the assistance of growth serum’s. And at that point, they’re probably still not grown in completely. If they are not patchy and missing in spots, they won’t be very long yet, and with how long It takes it’s likely those hairs are pulled before they had a chance. For me, they hardly even pop out of my eyelid before I’m pulling them out again.

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Eyebrows take around 60 days on average, so from the time they’re gone I’m drawing them on for at least 2 months in order to look normal. And the hair on your head, depends on the length but were looking at years for our heads to look normal. Sure we have many ways of hiding this because of the powers of makeup, but I’m sure I’m not the only trickster who would love the freedom of not HAVING to do It to feel normal everyday.

As a result of wanting to be rid of this for good, I have been doing a lot more research lately on Trich. Still looking for ways to overcome this once and for all. In my last post, I had discussed the struggles of living with this on a daily basis, and unless us trichsters find a way to completely best it, we will be living with it for life. This is something I’m still not ready to come to terms with. I have control over almost every aspect of my life…except trich. I am determined to overcome this for good no matter what it takes or how long.

I can do this. I am strong enough to overcome this. I can see the days in the future when I don’t have to prep my face to look normal walking out the door. When I can go to the store, and not worry that everyone is looking at my missing hair, brows and lashes. Comforting words written on my wall, stashed inside my brain and constantly repeated. Over, and over I fight back the tears as I look in the mirror. Feeling helpless and alone, even when I know I’m not…I’m not the only one who suffers from this condition.

But does anyone actually feel the same way as I do about it? Every story I read, every person I talk to who has this, has it in their own way. We all have different “side effects” of trich. I personally pull from the bottom of my head, my lashes, and my brows. I even pull my leg hairs at times to try and avoid the other hair. I don’t notice when I do it most times, and it’s almost always worse when my stress levels peak. I feel completely out of control with this condition and like there is nothing that will make it go away for me. For almost 20 years I’ve dealt with this, 20 years of being laughed at, picked on, treated like I was differnt, asked if I had a mental disorder, treated like I was stupid because I wouldn’t stop- and anyone who doesn’t have it doesn’t understand that you can’t.

They think I have no self control just because I can’t help, or notice when I’m pulling my hair. To them I say nothing. Because what can I say to them that would change their opinions? Nothing. That’s it, just a big fat nothing. They don’t have to deal with it, and sadly if they don’t have anyone in their life affected by it, then chances are they don’t care enough to even listen. This is a Disorder, not a Decision.

I want to have my eyelashes back for once, I’d love to not have bald spots under my head because that’s where I pull from so much. My hair is always cut in layers to try and hide the random hairs growing back at different lengths all over my head. It would be nice to not have to draw on my eyebrows completely every time I walk outside, and only have to fill them in in occasions when I Want to, not Have to.

My newest way of coping? Talking to others who have this, and I have still been reading some amazing books I’ve found by authors who have struggled the same as me. (I created a list at the bottom of this post with my favorite ones so far, as well as some of the other things I have been using that’s working for me.) The best part you ask? Not only does it help me not feel so distant from the rest of the world, but while I’m spending time reading their stories, I’m not pulling! The simple act of reading someone else’s journey is helping me Fight the Pull!

Unless I know I’m leaving the house I avoid all mirrors possible. I can’t even look myself in the face while I brush my teeth without it bothering me, or worse making me want to pull. But I would really love to have long lashes, and my own eyebrows more than I want to wear makeup for a day. I have been exercising a lot more lately, especially when i feel the urges to pull, so it’s helping keep me distracted and get into shape at the same time. I had recently read an amazing blog that said naming the hairs you have trouble with can be beneficial to some people also, and although I have no tried this I’m happy to know that it is working for someone. This I may just have to try, but the name I would give right now wouldn’t be pleasant, and I probably won’t be typing it out. Haha.

I also use the Tangle , it’s a toy made for stress relief and hand therapy. This is probably my favorite thing right now out of everything. My hands are CONSTANTLY busy with this, and it doesn’t give me a chance to move my hands towards the hair. I’m hoping that a combination of everything i’ve been trying is enough to finally stop pulling. Fighting the urges to pull can be to much to take at times though, and I cave. Fighting it can make you irritable, stressed, sad or depressed, and can even get worse the longer you fight it-unless you find a way to control and get rid of the urges completely for that moment. And if your a trichster, this means most times you end up with some missing hairs.

I have the tendency of pulling at my split ends for hours at a time if I’m left alone to do it. Occasionally resulting in me pulling the whole hair out, which explains why my hair constantly gets thinner and thinner as the years go by. Why do I keep doing this damage to myself even though I’d give anything to stop? Where is my self control so lacking that I can’t fight the one battle I’m dying to conquer?

I am not an expert, or any type of medical professional…these are my thoughts and feelings that I love with daily because of Trichotillomania. I’m sharing my story because it not only helps me cope with it, but I am also hoping that reading my journey will help others get theirs under control also. Maybe some methods you’re using would help me if I tried them, but we would have to share our experience that way. And maybe some of the things that are working for me would work for you also. If you would like to follow my journey, you can follow our blog in many ways.

If you would like to read any of the books that have helped me, you can for free on amazon with kindle unlimited. If you don’t have it already, you can try it free for 30 days (that’s what I’ve done, and I’m reading as much as I can before I have to start paying for it!) This gives you access to a lot of info on trich, and many other free books as well!

Until next time, keep Fighting the Pull!


Some things worth looking into


Trichotillomania - Fighting the Pull

Fighting the Pull

This isn’t going to be easy for me to write, and this post is going to be very personal for me. If you’re suffering from trichotillomania (Trich for short) like I am, then you’ll relate to this post and know exactly what I’m talking about. If you don’t have Trich, I hope by the end of this you at least understand what it is, and the types of struggles it causes for the people who have it.

When you have Trich, even leaving the house can be stressful. Did I draw my eyebrows on right? Will people stare at me and notice I have hair missing in spots? Should I wear false eyelashes to hide that I have none? These questions are what I ask myself every time I walk out the door, and I’m sure many others do as well. The worst part? False eyelashes don’t wear well if you have none of your own to hold them. Eyeliner goes on easy without lashes, but it doesn’t stay where you’d like it to half the time, and one touch to your face, even just to itch…could let the whole world see what’s under that makeup.

For those who don’t know what Trich is, it’s a disorder that causes recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out body hair. Although they say it’s treatable by a medical professional, I have never found anything that works to make it go away for more than a few weeks if that. The only “treatment” they tried to give me was counseling and medications for depression. I’m not depressed, or at least I wasn’t, I’m a SAHM of 3 little girls…I now work from home also because with the hubby schedule there’s no time for me to go out of the house for a job. So the added stress level has once again left me with a bald body.

Daycare is out of the question, I definitely cannot afford $350 a week in child care for 3 kids, and let’s be honest here that’s crazy and no one should ever be in this situation just because they have a family. How are we supposed to feel usefull when we’re made to sit at home doing nothing more than what women were stereotyped to do forever. I’m sorry I’m a career minded mother and not having an income or life is not an option for me. So trying to find a way to work from home has added yet another stress factor.

I was about 5 or 6 years old when I developed this condition, and up until 2 years ago, I had still thought I was the only person who suffered from it. Other than the amazing people I’ve now met in this time online, I have never known another person with trich.

I was treated like a freak by people who noticed missing hair, or that heard from someone else how weird it was and blah blah blah. But most times, we don’t even notice that We are pulling out our hair. The damage becomes clear after we’ve seen what We did. We all know how it goes, doesn’t matter what makes us different, someone else will always point out our flaws for the rest of the world. One of the worst things you can do to a person with Trich, at least in my opinion, is ask the same stupid questions we get daily. Like, why do you do it? Or why don’t you just stop? They don’t understand unless they have it.

Some have even taken it as far as smacking my hands while I pull at my eyelashes or hair. Always resulting in me fingering my eyeball or hitting my head, which gets infuriating after the first time. And when you show them frustration because of what they did, it doesn’t bother them a bit because they don’t know why you do it Or how to make you stop.


(I had eyebrows growing back, and had almost all my eyelashes grown. It doesn’t take long at all for that to change and be taken away without noticing it.)

Here’s some advice to someone who knows a person with trichotillomania, leave them be. Comfort them, tell them it’s ok, and don’t make them feel less human by treating them anything other than a normal person. Because that’s what we are. You don’t see us hitting your hands for something we can’t control. We’re not out telling people with depression or other disorders to stop because you can control it. You cant, and it’s something we have to all come to terms with. Not everything in life can be controlled. We all deal with different things in different ways. Let us try and live our lives as normal and as happy as we can.

Most people with this condition pull from their head, eyelashes and brows, and even leg hairs or any body hair available to pull. I’m guilty of all of it. I have bald spots on my head that will never be normal again. My eyelashes have been gone for years, my brows will never look normal without being filled in, and I have to prep myself every time I leave the house, even just to look like I have no makeup on, requires me to wear some.

As I said before, there’s certain types of makeup that just doesn’t work well for us trichsters. Mascara for anyone who pulls their eyelashes can be a nightmare. It takes months to grow eyelashes back, and mascara for most can bring the urge to pull them out back even worse. Having to take the makeup off at night can even make them fall out when your just trying to take it off. Even being gentle doesn’t always work. Over time our eyes gets used to it and they simply come out without an effort of pulling anymore.

I could be doing so good for 3 months, have my eyelashes almost completely grown in, and as soon as I end up pulling out one single hair, you can start to get the feeling and urge to “make it look normal” by evening out the other side. This of course makes it worse and usually by the end of it I have no hairs left to pull. Back to the starting point once again.

Excersize, cleaning, toys that keep your hands busy, and some other things can be used to try and keep yourself from pulling the hair. But this is only a temporary relief, and it never actually gets rid of the urges, more of less just takes your mind off of it for a little while if your lucky.  If you’re like me though, this can frustrate you even more because you’re trying to fight the urges, and they just don’t stop. 

Is there no way to rid the urges forever? Are we all really just “stuck” with this condition for life? After having it for almost 20 years, and 99% of my life already, I can’t help but to feel that this is just something we can’t beat. I’d love to be able to say something positive here and think it will get better forever. But I have learned the hard way that nothing lasts forever. This is life.

If you’re going through this with me, let me know. Tell me how you feel, and maybe even how you beat the urges. Sometimes it’s just nice to talk to someone else who’s going through the same thing you are, and I’d love to be that person. 🙂

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It has now been a total of 6 days since I pulled last, and some of my lashes have started growing back in again already. I have been using an eyelash growth serum lately because it not only helps cut the growth time in half, but it also makes me notice when I’m pulling a lot easier. It’s not that it hurts exactly, but you can definitely feel when your pulling out your eyelashes or brow hairs. I’ve been trying this for a few months and it does seem to work, but doesn’t stop me completely all the time. I had just had all my lashes and brows almost completely back.
They looked beautiful, but I had an overly stressful day and lost it all immediately. 😦
The serum that I have been using doesn’t hurt or irritate your eyes when you’re applying it, and it doesn’t after either, but like I mentioned it does help you realize you’re pulling a lot faster! I will continue to use this and other methods to try and beat this, but until then, if you have anything working for you I’m all ears!
This is the one that I use specifically, it’s not very expensive like some, and still gets the job done right. This one is clear and can even be worn under makeup, if left alone it will have a slight shine to it for about 10 minutes.

Until next time, keep Fighting the Pull!
—  —  — Kylie