This post has been inspired by all the different comments that anyone who suffers from Trichotillomania is really just sick of hearing. Sometimes people don’t think about how something as simple as a silly comment in their opinion could actually be harming the person they’re saying it to.
Trichotillomania is a hair pulling disorder that is not uncommon, but most people don’t know what it is and don’t understand it. They don’t understand why we do this to ourselves and don’t know how to help, which we understand this because most of us don’t understand it completely ourselves either. It’s hard to control and almost impossible to stop. But it can be done! And my main goal is to help raise awareness on Trichotillomania, as well as help others feel less alone in this battle.
Anyone who suffers from Trichotillomania usually has the desire to stop, but finding a way to control those urges can be difficult. I know this first-hand. I can’t tell you how many techniques and tricks I’ve used to try and stop my pulling, and what works for me may or may not work for someone else. For me it’s constant change in what I use to keep myself busy, as well as connecting with other trichsters.
***Some of this post may contain affiliate links, all thoughts are 100% my own. Full disclosure in sidebar—>>>***
So here is my list 45 things People With Trichotillomania are Sick of Hearing.
This one simple word is honestly the worst. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this while entranced in a picking episode. “Just Stop! Stop it, why can’t you just stop already.” It’s not something we can just shut off when we want to. There is no “Just Stopping.”
We want to stop and didn’t choose to have Trichotillomania. Most times it scares you as someone yells while you’re picking, and most times for me this results in me poking myself in the eye. Trichotillomania is a disorder that causes UNCONTROLLABLE urges to pull your hair out. We literally can’t control it most times. We have to fight to stop pulling, You can read more into this subject on my post Fighting The Pull.
2. You’re going to go bald.
I already understand that I’m doing damage to myself, but being unable to control it most times the last thing I want to think about is the possibility of my hair never growing back. Yes, I do understand there is a chance that one day I may never see the little hairs of regrowth after months of waiting, and I will deal with that when the time comes. Until then I will keep fighting the urges to pull as much as possible to prevent that from happening.
3. Doesn’t it hurt?
No, actually it doesn’t. Unless you start to pull from a new area that you have never pulled from before, you can’t even feel it. This is why it’s so easy to not even notice when we are pulling our hair out. The only feelings I get from pulling are good.
It’s like a weight is lifted and the release of all the building stress I had from fighting the urges to pull for so long is gone after giving in. What hurts is the constant battle with myself trying to stop it for good.
4. Why don’t you try eyelash extensions?
This one I actually laugh at when people say it to me. Really, if you have to ask me why I haven’t tried them, then you really must not understand what eyelash extensions are.
For one, extension means to add onto something. How can they give me longer eyelashes when they have nothing to put them on? There is nothing there for them to place an extension onto. And sadly I have Trichotillomania and knowing myself I would probably go back through and immediately start pulling them off. It would feel weird and out of place.
5. Why don’t you just wear false eyelashes so no one can tell you don’t have any of your own?
It’s not easy trying to stick something on your eyelid when you have nothing to match it up with. Forget just using your tweezers to press the false lashes into place with the real ones as guidance. Nope, you now have to try and get this sticky little thing to stick on a place it doesn’t want to go and not to high on your lid, avoid sticking it to your eyeball, and get it to actually stay in place for long periods of time.
It’s not a trick you can just learn and conquer overnight. When you have Trichotillomania, you have to actually practice putting on false lashes. Some people never get it and give up, you have to use tricks to make it work. As well as a very good adhesive for applying them to the lid itself. You don’t have real eyelashes to help you stick them in place and help hold them there with the glue-so you are depending literally on the lash adhesive itself and that’s it.
This Is my favorite lash adhesive right now, and it literally keeps my false ones in place for at least 9 hours. I’m Currently using these false eyelashes, and they seem to work for keeping the look as natural as possible.
6. You look like a cancer patient
This one bothers me, along with people asking me if I have cancer because of missing hair. It’s really one of those comments that you would think is common sense not to say to anyone. In general, that would be a touchy subject no matter what the reply turns out to be.
7. Don’t you get sick of being fake?
“Like this if your eyebrows are still real.”-(types of post’s we all unfortunately see)
So just because we have to draw on our eyebrows, cover patches on our heads, or wear false lashes, because we do this to boost our confidence all the sudden we’re fake? No, we are not fake-just trying to feel as normal as we can and deserve.
8. Is this something only you have?
There is actually a lot more people out there that have Trich than you would think. Some people don’t even know that they have it. And you can go years before you learn the actual name of it. Nail biting, and ocd are similar to trichotillomania but are more widely known conditions.
9. Do you enjoy pulling your hair out?
Personally I would have to say yes. I enjoy the relief pulling my hair out gives me, but no, I do not enjoy the results and not being able to control it. Anyone who suffers from Trichotillomania would love to stop as well as not feel the urge to pull their hair out anymore. Until accomplishing this goal, the relief hair pulling gives a trichster will always in a way feel good.
10. You must save a lot of money on haircuts.
We still have to get our hair cut, even the ones who decide to shave their hair off have to usually pay to have this done.
11. You’ll never get a good job looking like that.
If that job is so worried about how my hair on my body looks rather than the skills I have and what I have to offer that company through employment, then I honestly don’t want that job to begin with. Saying that they wouldn’t take a second look at my resume after seeing someone who looks like they’re abusing drugs doesn’t help much either. I’m not on drugs and don’t look like it either.
I went to a job interview about 2 years ago now-with no makeup, my hair parted where you could see my bald spots, but still dressed professionally. They asked me about it one time because they noticed my missing facial hair first. I explained that I had Trichotillomania and a bit about what it was, and that was it. And guess what! I still got the job. Just one more thing to show how this comment wasn’t necessary.
Not to mention the insane amount of ways to make money from home now days.
12. It must have been hard growing up with Trichotillomania.
For the most part, someone who has Trich is really good at hiding that fact. You won’t know we have it unless we want you to or tell you. Growing up isn’t easy to begin with, and with the amount of confidence that gets ruined from having Trichotillomania is impossible to measure.
No one knew I had trich growing up other than the friends and family that were told about it. I still get comments from people telling me how they never noticed Trich was the reason I fiddled in class so much or played with my hair, because they couldn’t see anything different. The only different thing about someone who suffers from trichotillomania is their hair pulling, it’s not something you just notice off hand.
13. Someone got carried away with their tweezers.
Don’t even say the word tweezers please. Trust me, if I had used tweezers there would be a lot more missing hair than there is right now on my body. Of I get near them, my leg hairs are usually the ones in danger. (the little patch of hair on my legs that still grows that is.)
14. Is it contagious?
I’ve been asked this one A LOT. And I know that there is a lot of others who have been asked the same thing. The simple answer is always no, but I want to just put a “face palm” here for everyone who understands why this comment bothers someone with trichotillomania.
15. What if your kids have this to?
We don’t want to think about that possibility really. It’s hard enough to live with this ourselves. Let alone trying to deal with our kids having it also. It’s not something I would want anyone to develop in their lifetime.
16. Is something mentally wrong with you?
Aside from the battle in my head constantly and trying not to pull my hair out, nope don’t think so.
17. Is this your cry for attention?
If any of this was truly a cry for attention, why would we go through so much trouble trying to hide it? I wouldn’t take the time parting my hair to hide bald spots, or doing my eyebrows and makeup even when sitting at home, just so I could hide what’s missing if it was an attempt to gain attention.
18. It’s just a habit, you’ll grow out of it.
If that was the case, then I haven’t done enough growing in the last 20 years. You don’t just grow out of Trich, you fight it constantly in hopes of one day beating the urges.
19. You’re going to need a wig your whole life.
There’s worse things in life than having to wear a wig. Not to mention the amount of people who wear them just for fun without being criticized for it.
20. It’s only hair.
It is only hair, and yet we have to listen to rude and hurtful comments constantly because of it.
21. Is there any confidence left in you?
Trich does take away a lot of a person’s confidence, but most of that comes from what others say to the person because of their missing hair. Not just from trich itself. Confidence is something that a lot of people lack, whether they have trichotillomania or not. Just because I pull my hair, and don’t feel comfortable leaving the house without doing my hair and makeup, doesn’t mean that I have no confidence left in me.
22. I don’t understand how you go out in public like that.
I don’t understand how other people go out in public dressing the way they do, but you don’t see me walking up to make a comment to them about it.
23. Maybe you should see a doctor, there has to be a cure for trichotillomania.
Again, there is no cure. But most of us HAVE already seen doctors, and a lot of times without finding out any information that we didn’t already know. Trichotillomania is still a mystery even to most doctors. It’s hard to find the root cause, and even harder to find the treatment that will work best for that person. Believe it or not, there’s actually a lot of medical professionals out there who don’t even know what Trich is, I’ve even been to therapist who knew nothing about it until after they researched it right before my appointment.
24. Are you a girl, or a boy?
This one doesn’t get said as much as it used to because short hair on girls has become a style that’s accepted more in society. A lot of women like having short hair even without having Trichotillomania.
25. It’s so Weird?
We know that it’s not something people consider normal, but that doesn’t make us a bunch of weirdo’s either.
26. What are you doing to your legs. That’s disgusting.
Yes, some of us pull leg hair also, but you know what? I’d rather never have hair grow on my legs again than anywhere else on my body. Pulling from this area is difficult and mainly done with tweezers, often resulting is rough patches or bleeding spots from digging too deep at the hair. My legs aren’t always the prettiest, but at least they’re easily hidden.
27. You remind me of a hairless rat, but the rat had no choice.
Thanks for that confidence boost, no really, Thank you.
28. I bet you’re late for everything. (You must take forever to get ready)
You can say the same thing to 90% of women without Trichotillomania and they will still get offended. We’re no different.
29. Are you on drugs?
Yep guys you caught me! It’s been drugs making me pull my hair out my whole life. Cuz you know it makes sense to have a 5 year old, hair pulling druggy.
30. I get stressed too, but I don’t rip my hair out because of it.
Trichotillomania does have a lot to do with stress, but the triggers and reasons why a person has it is different for each one. Everyone handles things differently-and there are far worse things a person could do because of stress than just pulling their hair out.
31. Have you tried picking hair that isn’t noticeable.
Maybe we do, but you obviously can’t notice it!
32. Why not wear gloves so you can’t pull.
Gloves do not stop most people from pulling. It’s also not easy trying to wear gloves on your hands in the summer without getting weird looks or overheated hands. Sad to say when I tried this trick I had learned within an hour how to pick with the gloves on.
33. How can you not notice you’re pulling your own hair out?
It’s like our hands are attracted to certain areas on our body, and we really can’t feel when we are pulling out our hair. The urges are often uncontrollable and our body gives into them without us even knowing.
34. If you tie your hands to something you can’t pull.
This trick has worked for some people, the only problem is it only works during the time that your hands are bound. You can’t exactly go about your day without the use of your hands.
35. Are you going to try pulling my hair out to?
Why would you even ask me that? Why would I want to pull your hair out? Just because I do something to myself that you can’t understand doesn’t mean I want to pull your hair out.
36. You do this to yourself so why should I care?
“Trich is nothing more than a form of self-harm for attention seekers.”-This is usually one of the similar things people will say when they think of trichotillomania this way. Both comments still impact someone the same way. This isn’t something someone does just to gain attention, it’s not the kind of attention anyone would want.
37. Why not just shave your hair so you have nothing to pull out.
Shaving your hair isn’t a guarantee to stop pulling. You still have the urges to pull, just not the normal hair you would go for.
38. It’s all in your head.
This is not something that is just “In our Heads.” We can’t control having it, and it’s not just some crazy habit. It’s a disorder that’s not always easy to live with.
39. Do you pull from “other” areas?
Personally for me I’ve only ever pulled from my head, legs, lashes and brows.
40. What if it never grows back.
I’d rather just not think about this one, or even get into the reason why it bothers someone with Trichotillomania other than it’s just not something we enjoy thinking about.
41. What’s wrong with your legs?
Hair pulling can happen anywhere on your body, and one person can pull from many places. Leg hair, eye brows, lashes, the hair on your head, arm hairs, any place on your body that grows hair is at risk for a person with trichotillomania. Some may only ever pull from one spot without having any urges to pull from another area, but each person has their own unique “favorite spot/s” to pull from.
42. So you’ll just sit there for hours…pulling your hair out.
Sometimes it just happens. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing something else also, a trichster can pull without realizing it. Watching TV or using your phone, your hands can just be drawn to your hair and before you know it there’s hundreds of hairs sitting around you.
43. Is there more strange habits I should know about?
This one hurts just because of the comment itself. Just because I pull my hair, doesn’t mean I’m completely different from everyone else. It’s not a strange habit, it’s a disorder that many other people in the world live with and struggle with on a daily basis.
44. I’m sick of finding your hair everywhere.
Pet’s shed, your hair clogs the drain the same as mine, and everyone’s hair sheds naturally. I may leave a bit more than the average person, but this isn’t something only people with Trichotillomania do.
45. I hope you didn’t want to be a chef, no one wants hairy food.
I wouldn’t be able to pull my hair out if I was a Chef. Hair nets are usually a requirement, along with hats, your hands would be constantly occupied and busy doing other things, (such as The Tangle Relax Therapy) and it’s not like our hair is just falling from our bodies. I still cook my family food Daily, without ever finding hair in our food. Any job that keeps you busy would actually be a good thing for a person with trichotillomania, if you are busy doing other things you can’t exactly pull your hair out.
Some of these comments are uncalled for, others are just people trying to get a better understanding of our disorder. Either way the comments still hurt and I’m sure most of us are sick of hearing them. I know not everyone will relate to every comment made here, but I hope you were able to relate to at least one of them, and know that you are not the only one. We are all in this together, and together we can fight the pull and stop these urges for good!
Did I miss any Comments that you receive that really bother you? Did this post hit home and make you feel less alone? If so connect with me below or on our social media, I’d love to connect and chat with some fellow Trichsters, or anyone that learned something about The struggles someone goes through that has trichotillomania.